Why love alone can't save your relationship | Stan Tatkin | TEDxKC

Psychotherapist and Couple Expert Stan Tatkin argues that when couples fight, the real issue is almost never what they're fighting about — it's what happens in their nervous systems when either partner is under stress. Drawing on decades of clinical work, he shows how our brains mistake prediction for danger, turning the people we love into perceived threats. His answer isn't more love, but a consciously designed relationship: shared purpose, agreed-upon principles, and a plan for repair before the next conflict even arrives.

tan Tatkin, PsyD, MFT, is a clinician, researcher, teacher, and developer of A Psychobiological Approach to Couple Therapy® (PACT). He has a clinical practice in Calabasas, CA. With his wife, Dr. Tracey Tatkin, he co-founded the PACT Institute for the purpose of training other mental health professionals worldwide, along with a growing PACT faculty, to use this method in their clinical practice. Together, Stan and Tracey also lead couple workshops.

Stan is a recently retired teacher and supervisor of family medicine residents at Kaiser Permanente, Woodland Hills, CA, and is an associate clinical professor at the UCLA David Geffen School of Medicine, Department of Family Medicine for more than 20 years. He is on the board of directors of Lifespan Learning Institute and served as a member on Relationships First Counsel, a nonprofit organization founded by Harville Hendrix and Helen LaKelly Hunt. This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at https://www.ted.com/tedx