📚  Finding peace in childhood memories… | So I Go Back #music #ailig

Link to track - SO I GO BACK
https://music.youtube.com/watch?v=lyYAmiJeJ9I&si=iEv-4E4Cd6sIk3af
Podcast - SO I GO BACK
https://youtu.be/-EHCCzsgajQ

Check Out the YouTube Artist Channel:
https://www.youtube.com/@AI-lig

Music available on all music streaming services

Lyrics:
SO I GO BACK
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Late at night
When the ceiling starts talking again
I close my eyes
And go back there

Cotton candy clouds in the summer heat
Sticky little fingers and tired sneakers
My sister screaming on the spinning ride
Like nothing bad could ever reach us there

My father laughing with his paper cup
My mother brushing sugar from my face
Everything glowing in impossible colors
Like the whole world had forgiven itself

And God…
The lights…
I still remember the lights

Red and gold
Turning slowly through the dark
Like tiny planets built for children
Too beautiful to understand

And when my head becomes a battlefield
I go back to the carnival
To the rusted rides and neon rain
To the place where I still knew myself

Before the debts
Before the fear
Before the nights that never disappear
There was a Ferris wheel turning softly
Somewhere inside me still

Now my kitchen feels like an unpaid bill
My phone lights up like a warning sign
Another message from the bank again
Another number climbing out of reach

And I still hear my own voice shouting
At my boss like some drunk fool
Knowing halfway through the whole damn thing
I should’ve stopped
But I didn’t stop

Now the silence after midnight
Feels heavier than concrete walls

And sleep waits somewhere far away
Beyond the panic
Beyond the noise
Beyond the static in my chest

So I go back to the carnival
To the slow-motion miracle
Children running through electric light
Like joy was something permanent

My mother’s hand
My father’s smile
The smell of sugar drifting through the night
And every spinning ride keeps whispering
“You survived before… you will again…”

Maybe memory lies a little
Maybe happiness always does
Because I’m not sure life was simpler
Or if I was simply too young to see

But somehow that night still holds me
Like warm hands against my skin
And for a moment
Just one moment
The storm inside me almost ends

Carousel lights
Distant laughter
Slow like a fading dream

And when the darkness climbs into my bed
I return to the carnival
To the frozen faces glowing gold
In a world untouched by consequence

No future there
No past to fix
Just spinning lights and childhood innocence
And somewhere deep beneath the noise
That little boy still breathes

Ferris wheel turning in the dark
Summer air and neon stars
And all these years later
I still go there
When I need to remember
How peace once felt